Sticktoitivness. I don’t care that it’s not a real word. You know what I mean, don’t you?
I don’t know that I have much of it. Is it dedication? Is it loyalty? Is it determination? Motivation? Whatever “it” is, it’s a major challenge for me when it comes to health goals.
I’m not one for diets or exercise routines. I’m a born rebel so having someone tell me what and how much I can and can’t eat goes against every fibre of my being. I’m an adult, dagnabbit! If I want to sit down with a pint of ice cream or have an extra 4 perogies I will! I’ve read a fair bit of food science writing and I’m not sure I trust the party line that specific foods are inherently bad for you and must be avoided. I’m all for moderation, even if I can’t practice it well.
In the morning I’m joining my wonderful co-author at a Weight Watchers meeting. I expect it’ll be a little like Alcoholic’s Anonymous for eaters. “Hi, my name is BirthInTheHammer and I love to eat food.” I know I’ll part with a fair bit of cash in order to be told I’m eating too much and how to eat less. I know I’ll be weighed – and I’m pretty sure I know approximately what that number will be and I’m dreading looking at it.
It’s for that reason, the dread of what the reality of what my current weight is, that’s driving me to commit to someone else’s idea of what and how much I should be eating. I’m afraid, however, that I won’t be able to see the process through. I’m afraid I’ll get a few weeks into the journey and throw my hands up in the air and, using some colourful language, capitulate. Because that’s what I’ve always done.
Change that creates lasting results has to be permanent. And, losing a fair chunk of weight takes a long time. Next year, I really hope I’m looking back at the me of today and saying, “I’m so glad I decided to change things up. I’m so happy I stuck to it. I’m so happy with where I am now.”
What is it they say at Alcoholic’s Anonymous? One day at a time. I’ll let you know how I’m doing tomorrow.