On Doing Scary Things

I went back to university on Thursday!

I’ve been out of an academic school environment for 15 years and back when I was in one, despite being a previously good student, I did miserably and didn’t take it very seriously.  I had thought about going back for a long time now. I love my business and will continue to do it and grow it, but for self-development I feel like diving back into my education is a good thing for me.

All week I had been quaking in my boots. I’d be the oldest one there — that actually hit me pretty hard — and I was feeling very self-conscious about that fact. What if I was too stupid now? What if I couldn’t remember anything? What if I couldn’t write a paper anymore?  What if they’d boot me off the bus and laugh because my student ID # was from the 90s. Okay, that last one is silly but I thought it. Anxiety at its best. What if nobody would want to work with me on a group project?

What if I don’t deserve to go to school?

You know, I have never considered that I had a self-esteem issue — from time to time I feel low like everyone does but generally, I don’t think I’m stupid and I don’t think I’m bad at things nor do I feel I’m super old and if I was, why would that even matter — but geeeeeez. Every negative thought stuck with me this week.

And you know what? After my first few days there, it seems challenging in that I have things I will need to do every day, but I think I’ll be fine, and I’m glad I stretched myself.

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5 thoughts on “On Doing Scary Things

  1. Congratulations. and I hope you don’t worry. There are plenty of people who go back to school later. And of those I’ve encountered so far, all of them have excelled greatly in our classes and have been some of the most awesome people I’ve met. You will do great!!!

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